stories from the hummiiverse
A Forgetful Fig named Newton...
Cartoon rendering of Newton and his hodge podge gang of snack warriors.
Meeting the Fig
In the far-off land of the POINTS! universe, where candy characters run amok and Sugar Corp plots diabolical schemes, there lived a fig unlike any other. His name was Newton, and he happened to have the memory of a goldfish.
Constantly forgetting where he left his seeds (or even his own name), Newton was a walking disaster waiting to happen. Yet somehow, this forgetful fig found himself at the center of a rebellion against the sugary tyranny of Sugar Corp.
{%- comment -%}replo-liquid-chunk-begin{%- endcomment -%}{{product.title}}{%- comment -%}replo-liquid-chunk-end{%- endcomment -%}
{%- comment -%}replo-liquid-chunk-begin{%- endcomment -%}{{reploSelectedVariant.price | money}}{%- comment -%}replo-liquid-chunk-end{%- endcomment -%}
A Mission Forgotten
Newton’s journey began when he was mistaken for some kind of snack superweapon by a ragtag group of rogue snacks. Led by Gigi, a sassy gummy bear with a biting wit, the group also included Crumble, a sarcastic granola bar, and Bulk, a pissed-off protein shake with more muscles than brains.
They had all had enough of Sugar Corp’s crap and were determined to take down Emma M. and her minions. Their secret weapon?
Newton...who couldn’t even remember why he was even there to save his figgin' life.
Into the Lion’s Den
The plan was simple: infiltrate Sugar Corp’s HQ, destroy their latest sugar-loaded weapon, and get out before anyone knew what hit them.
Easy enough—except Newton, who was supposed to be the key to their success, kept forgetting the plan. As they snuck into the warehouse, Newton’s mind was on anything but the mission. He was more concerned about whether he’d left his non-existent oven on.
Inside the warehouse, the team found themselves staring at the Hyper Sugar Bomb—a pulsating monstrosity of pure sugar that could obliterate the entire POINTS! universe with one fructose-fueled blast. The plan was to use a detonator to blow it up, but Newton, in his infinite wisdom (or lack thereof), mistook the detonator for a snack and ate it.
Crumble nearly lost his granola over it.
“What the f*ck, Newton?!”
“Was that important?”
Newton mumbled, chewing thoughtfully. “It was really chewy…”
The Accidental Hero
With the detonator now a part of Newton’s diet, the team was screwed. Or so they thought. As Emma M. burst into the lab, ready to unleash her wrath, Newton, in a stroke of dumb luck, tripped over his own stem and crashed into the Hyper Sugar Bomb.
The bomb, destabilized by Newton’s clumsiness, imploded rather than exploded, sucking in all the sugar and leaving behind a perfectly balanced, low-sugar snack.
The POINTS! universe was saved—by accident.
The rogue snacks were in shock. Had Newton, the most forgetful fig in existence, actually saved the day?
They watched as Emma M. fumed, covered in marshmallow goo, while the Sugar Squad limped away in defeat. Newton, still blissfully unaware of what he’d done, wandered off in search of his missing sock (which, of course, he wasn’t even wearing).
“Did that just happen?” Gigi asked, dumbfounded.
Crumble nodded. “We’re officially living in a sh*tshow.”
The Legend of Newton
And so, Newton became an accidental legend in the POINTS! universe—not because he was brave or strong, but because he was too forgetful to screw things up completely.
The snacks hailed him as a hero, even though he couldn’t remember why. As Newton wandered off into the sunset, mumbling to himself about whether figs were supposed to have ovens, the POINTS! universe returned to its usual chaotic, sugary state.
But everyone knew one thing for sure: no matter how dark the day, there was always room for a little bit of absurdity—and a lot of snacks.
Author Profile
Hank Hummii
Hank Hummii is our resident chickpea mighty mascot. He is an aspiring body builder, passionate storyteller, & plant-based eater. Stay tuned for his very own POINTS! KRUNCH flavor & more narratives from the Hummiiverse.
{%- comment -%}replo-liquid-chunk-begin{%- endcomment -%}{{product.title}}{%- comment -%}replo-liquid-chunk-end{%- endcomment -%}
{%- comment -%}replo-liquid-chunk-begin{%- endcomment -%}{{reploSelectedVariant.price | money}}{%- comment -%}replo-liquid-chunk-end{%- endcomment -%}
